Be a Mentor, Not a Coach

       What is the difference in criticism and constructive coaching?
What is the difference in being a coach and a mentor?

A coach talks to us (criticizes us). They are there to teach us by telling us what we need to do. They may say things such as: "You need to work harder; If you were to change your attitude, you would be a much better person; You should do it this way, it is a lot better; When you understand what is really being said then you will really know how they feel."


       Anyone who tries to tell you how to do something is a coach. We can't choose our coaches. However, a mentor is one that is a leader. A person that others choose to fallow, respect, and trust. A mentor is not just something that anyone can be, rather it is someone that is looked up to by another person. They could be a parent, friend, sibling, companion, or another leader of some sort. A mentor is someone we go to for guidance. No one can be assigned to be a mentor. Instead it is a position earned and given by those around you.

        A mentor is one that shows by example rather than preaching with words. They may say things such as: "We can work harder; If we were to change our attitude, we would become a better person; If we do it like this... then it might turn out better; When we understand what is really being said, then we can know how we can help them;"

       The difference in the two is how they use the words "you" and "we/ us".  Reread the coach's part then reread the mentor's part. Notice the difference in how you feel. If we can relate a problem or situation, that someone else has, to ourselves, then we can better understand what we can do to give constructive coaching.
        When we try to help someone out, we must understand how they will take what we say by how we say it. Not everyone is like us, therefore we need to adjust our way of "coaching" to best fit their needs. By us doing this, we will be able to help those around us more than just preaching to them. "They don't care about how much you know until they know how much you care."